Trans-Real News – Episode 26: Xibalba
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Torg takes over as anchorman, Retrograde gets into the superhero business, Lobster-monsters attack Ecuador, Caffeine Zombie is still at large. Timespace distortions are becoming focused on two points. We hear reports from Xibalba.
News Brief (0’23”)
- Caffeine Zombie is still at large
- A “Hot Ones” challenge leads one man to Nirvana
- Retrograde dynamics releases its superhuman legion on the Hive Mind
Timespace Forecast (1’46”)
- The Aussieflora Hive Mind is drawing in time distortions from all over the globe.
- Coastal Australians can expect reality storms.
- 70s depravity to hit Toronto
Our Sponsor (3’00”)
California Primal Salad Dressing A Barbarian recipe made from plants sourced in the primordial swamps of California and killer tomatoes. Eat like a warrior.
A Journal from Beyond (3’50”)
This is Toby Damt, and I am sending this recording to Trans-Real News from beyond the Planar Cordon in Xibalba.
The great city of Mitnal is all but deserted, We have taken up residence in the bombed-out hulk of a ruined office building that just three months ago had been set up as a refugee camp for beings of the upper planes. It, and most like it are abandoned; Helion and Divine alike have mostly scattered to the wilderness. Only pockets of souls and lesser elementals are still hiding within the city.
The Archons here, they’ve gone feral. They stalk the streets at night blasting anything that moves. Many of them seem confused.
There are gates set up for travel to the home planes of The Authorities. They are heavily guarded; not even Archons are allowed past the cordon… but we believe we may be able to get through to see what is really going on in the authorities.
In the meantime, some edifices are so thoroughly banal, dark, or evil that here in the lower planes they cannot be assailed. We have been bribing our way into useful information with gift cards for a popular coffee shop that is found on every corner of most lower possibilities as well as on Earth.
[Klie] Any place that requires you to learn special lingo to order a coffee is pure evil, Lovelies.
In many places you can see signs that the Authorities attempted a “reconfiguration” the landscape is more warped and bent than it was when I last visited here.
[Klie] Toby we are going to have to cut the report a little short, more of those half-reconfigured Hell-borgs hare wandering nearby. And we have to get to el Rubicava by tomorrow night if we want to get our hands on the transport we need.
Right. This is Toby Damt, from Mitna, Xibalba. Safe Journeys, Travellers.
Additional Credits
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