Trans-Real News – Episode 27: Plant-Based

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In which we face plant-based Kaiju, Indigo Children besiege a jerky stand, Puppets sing, Alien Storytellers get called out, and Lunatics rant at Toby & Klie.

News Brief (0’23”)

  • Plant Kaiju attack Australia’s defenders
  • Plant-based animals emerging from the Aussieflora Hive Mind attract hunters from around the Continent
  • Indigo Children attack a roadside attraction “Awesome Alien Jerky” until an alien intervenes.

Timespace Forecast (1’46”)

  • The accumulation of Indigo Children in Baker, CA threatens Area 51
  • The Federal Ontological Predictive Service warns people near Baker California of potential reality storms.

Our Sponsor (3’00”)

The Lou and Tuskeroo Show teaches children how to be happy & safe in the world after Reality.

Interview with Storyteller Xorg ()

[Yaron] Visitor Xorg, welcome to Earth! How are you finding it?

[Xorg] Oh, its delightful. All of these beautiful and curious minds!

[Yaron] I understand you saw the kids attacking the Jerky shop and interceded, is that correct?

[Xorg] Poor children! They were trying to protect what they thought were innocent visitors to Earth. Their spirit was high and kind, but their understanding lacking. I thought ti best to teach them about their errors before they did harm that might wound that spirit with regret.

[Yaron] What brings you to Earth, Xorg, and does it have anything to do with nearby Area 51?

[Xorg] To be honest, I prefer to keep myself a bit of a mystery. Perhaps I am visiting Earth looking for lost friends. Or perhaps I am studying your species at this critical juncture in time.. Or maybe I am a figment of the collective imagination of these children, and my stories woven from their expectations. Not knowing might inspire greater curiosity and compassion.

[Yaron] So… you’re a Tulpa, then.

[Xorg] What? No… I mean, maybe!  MAYBE I am a Tulpa brought to life by  the imaginations of these children. And MAYBE I am a visitor from a distant world. Or MAYBE I come from Area 51 where I was decanted and raised… and just stole my parent’s UFO to make a quick burger run.

[Yaron] Nah… definitely a Tulpa. Now that we’ve talked I can tell. You’re such a perfect take on the little green man. And you are a terrible liar like these kids.And, let’s be honest, not many people like to suggest they are a figment of anyone else’s imagination… it’s not something conscious people do easily without a bunch of mental gymnastics first.

[Xorg] Perhaps I am simply superior, Earth-man. And perhaps I WANT you to think about this until you are entirely flooded with doubt. A tulpa? ME? Ridiculous!

[Yaron] You’re starting to glitch.

[Xorg] Please… for the children! Don’t let them know!

[Yaron] Don’t worry. I think imaginary friends are perfectly healthy. Especially when they say “don’t replace the jerky shop with a smoking crater.”

[Xorg] Thank you!

[Yaron] There you go, Torg. Disappointing.

[Torg] My grandfather helped fend off the Yacatisma invasion of 3087. Believe me, I am just as glad we do not have a real alien invasion on out hands.

A Journal from Beyond (3’50”)

[Klie] This is Klie Maxwell here with Toby Damt in El Rubicava, one of the last places safe from the Archons in Xibalba. This is our second time attempting to record this journal, and I want to start it by playing back the conversation that interrupted our first attempt.

[Toby] This is Toby Damnt, coming to you from…

[??} Reporters! Yes! Reporters! You have to listen to me!

[Toby] Whoah, easy there friend. I will listen, but I don’t like being grabbed.

[??] Sorry! Sorry! Please, put the gun away!

[Toby] (Keep rolling, Klie.) There.

[??] Thank you! The people, they have to know!

[Klie] We’re listening, what do they have to know?

[??} !! It’s you! I remember you! I saw you on the fields of Anaxia! Everyone was so afraid. They called you by a terrible-

[Klie] We’re here to talk about you, Darling. Why don’t you tell us what is so important?

[??] Yes! Yes! It will be safe with you.

[Toby] Go on.

[??] This city! It will be gone in a few hours! The Archons are coming, because they know that I am here.  My blood is wanted. My head a passport to let them back into the Authorities’ good graces. Nobody believes me, and nobody will leave! You have this car. And you are You. You will get it out.

[Klie} You must be awfully important then. What is it you have that will bring the Archons here, when there are so many ready to fight?

[??] Not what I have… what I’ve seen. The empty spaces. The places where the Authorities have been and left nothing behind. The Qlippoth.

[air raid siren]

[??] Ngh! They are here already! I have to hide. If you want to know what’s coming, find the Qlippoth. Look for the places even they won’t go. At least you’ll see what’s coming.

[Klie] Then he ran off. But he was right about something. The Archons attacked the town’s wall only a moment later. And they acted more like they were looking for someone than just trying to tear the place down. We got out with our backpacks, a souped up skylark, and a bottle of gin.

[Toby] After what we saw just now, I’m going to need that Gin. Any idea what the Qlippoth are?

[Klie] No idea. It’s Hebrew, and I think it means shells. But I’m afraid I find hermetic occultism so drab that I  can’t follow it, And we don’t exactly have google around.

[Toby] He could’ve just been raving.

[Klie] No. I don’t think he was.

[Toby] Any good reason?

[Klie] Not one I care to share right now. But he said something that made me think he could be trusted. Anaxia.

[Toby] Care to fill me in?

[Klie] No. And we need to remember to finish the journal.

[Toby] Right. We are now on a hilltop about 15 miles from El Rubicava, and from what we can see there is still fighting, but it is clear there have been reality bombs set off in some parts of the city. There are just big holes of nothing.

[Toby] Tomorrow we are making a run at one of the cordoned off portals. Wish us luck. And Safe Journeys.

Additional Credits

Includes the Songs:

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